Why the self sabotage .... argh! Any good therapist out there?!
It's been a bit rough lately, I am going to try a new old method of weight loss. That being a nutritional shake fast/meal replacement. I am officially going on a family cruise Nov 27th for a week, it's a blessing and a curse, the blessing obviously being a week long cruise, the curse being it will be my first post divorce "family function" and the last one prior to that was with my wife kids and her family. The quotes are due to the fact it is going to consist of, my father, brother and his wife, sister and her husband, and nephew along with wife and my two other single nephews (both in early twenties). As far as the cruise goes i'm sure it will be splendid, Royal Caribbean 7 day Western Caribbean, you can't go wrong with that. However being a self professed "man of size" I must confess there are some logistical issues. Now for any non obese individual you may want to check out to the next paragraph for everyone else i'll share the details. On a cruise the bathrooms are EXTREMELY tight, I mean shower right next to the commode, which is one of those wall mounted jobs (weight limit 350 lbs) which I literally do a semi squat so not to rest my full weight on the commode/break it. On my last cruise (which was in 2007 or 2008) I weighed in at a tiny 465 lbs (please note sarcasm) and was on an weight loss mission, we're talking I used the gym on the Disney Magic and even worked out with a trainer!
For me to get to that weight it would require right at a 100 lbs weight loss in 12 weeks. That's manageable/realistic right (again with the sarcasm), now I must confess when I did the program before (circa 1994 and 2009) I did lose right at 100 lbs in 12 weeks, however I was 24 and 39 not 41! This time is different, I never had issues of non eating/binge eating like I've been suffering from recently. The frustrating part is I know the nutritional steps I need to be doing eating wise and still don't do it. I've even taken graduate level courses in biochemistry, organic chemistry and nutrition and know the scientific undertones.However that doesn't seem to trump the lacking mental aspect i'm now dealing with. For the first time I really am starting to feel the desire to retreat and not leave the house. I went to get the newspaper and a guy rides by on a Harley and yells "lose weight" I felt like yelling hey a$# hole I've lost over 100 lbs from my heaviest weight! I know I just have to "do it" but am frustrated and want to know what's changed, i've tried starting this a couple of times and can't make it though a day, i'll blend a shake, drink it then at midnight or later go to Taco Bell or WhataBurger, and drop $20 on a meal. This after me doing the same plan twice in my life, both times over months each duration and losing over 100 lbs each time, that's another story :)
Well i'm going to get started officially on Tuesday with my weigh in, and tomorrow/later today i'm going to go for drinking 8 glasses of water and skipping the $20 meal tap at insert fast food restaurant of choice. I'm also going to shoot to start updating blog at least three times a week, we'll see on that one :) Hope you have a safe and great Labor day!
For me to get to that weight it would require right at a 100 lbs weight loss in 12 weeks. That's manageable/realistic right (again with the sarcasm), now I must confess when I did the program before (circa 1994 and 2009) I did lose right at 100 lbs in 12 weeks, however I was 24 and 39 not 41! This time is different, I never had issues of non eating/binge eating like I've been suffering from recently. The frustrating part is I know the nutritional steps I need to be doing eating wise and still don't do it. I've even taken graduate level courses in biochemistry, organic chemistry and nutrition and know the scientific undertones.However that doesn't seem to trump the lacking mental aspect i'm now dealing with. For the first time I really am starting to feel the desire to retreat and not leave the house. I went to get the newspaper and a guy rides by on a Harley and yells "lose weight" I felt like yelling hey a$# hole I've lost over 100 lbs from my heaviest weight! I know I just have to "do it" but am frustrated and want to know what's changed, i've tried starting this a couple of times and can't make it though a day, i'll blend a shake, drink it then at midnight or later go to Taco Bell or WhataBurger, and drop $20 on a meal. This after me doing the same plan twice in my life, both times over months each duration and losing over 100 lbs each time, that's another story :)
Well i'm going to get started officially on Tuesday with my weigh in, and tomorrow/later today i'm going to go for drinking 8 glasses of water and skipping the $20 meal tap at insert fast food restaurant of choice. I'm also going to shoot to start updating blog at least three times a week, we'll see on that one :) Hope you have a safe and great Labor day!
Comments
Jocelyn
www.cookingbymyownrules.wordpress.com
I would encourage you to find help. Therapy has completely changed my eating habits. I went to a cognitive behaviour therapist; they examine and work to change destructive habits into good habits.
I learned that all my overeating is in reaction to following diet rules. I recently read in an article, that the most common trigger for eating disorders (many types other than anorexia and bulimia) is dieting itself and it affects both men and women.